Take or not to take? That was my question

After sitting down for the first time with my MS nurse the main conversation was which DMD (disease modifying drug) I was going to take, I initially thought my consultant and MS nurse was going to tell me what they were going to prescribe me but this wasn’t the case, she went through all the drugs which were suitable for my RRMS (relapsing remitting MS) how they are administered and all of the side effects then she gave me some books and leaflets and said to make a choice and let her know. Two days later my left eye, which I have optic neuritus became all blurry and fuzzy again even though this had been improving month after month, I called my MS nurse who said I didn’t need to see her as this issue had been prompted sub-consciously by visiting her and talking about DMD and side effects for 2 hours, she said I’d taken in all this information sub-consciously and my body had generated air in my blood which has now moved up to my optic nerve. During the call she asked if i had made a decision about the DMD which i had choosen which i replied back “Tecfidera” which is a capsule you take morning and evening, this was also the DMD that she had originally advised and recommended, but she said again to me this is not a cure this medication reduces the number of relapses by about one half (50%). So you can imagine by now being diagnosed with MS after years of symptoms and finally getting this sorted then my sub-conscious is having a go at me, so what was my instant reaction of course yes , I’m not taking any drugs I will beat this without them, greedy drug companies making money out of the NHS, it was me versus MS, and this is how it stayed in my mind for weeks, my mum and dad and some close friends actually voiced concern but I wasn’t moving on this subject, it was my choice and my body and that was what I was going to do. The drugs got delivered to my house where I took them into my lounge where I left them for 2 days unopened and just kept glancing at them, on the 3rd day I opened them and took the instructions out and analysed them for hours, I researched and searched the web to find out as much as I could which went into the early hours of the morning, there was still a bit of me saying you don’t need these you can do it without them then it did dawn on me…. ” I am going to fight this disease until the day it leaves my body but these tablets are not a cure, but they can help me in the fight to beat this, yes they are only a 50% chance in reduction of a relapse, but if I don’t take them that goes down to 0% chance and I could have a relapse which could possibly turn my RRMS into something progressive” I don’t know if this was my sub-conscious coming back to amend some broken ties or if it was me just realising take as much help as you can and anyway you can. I have now been on the tablets for 3 weeks now still doing what I was doing before and this includes going out for food, drinks with friends so same as before really, the only side effect I got was some flushing in the first few weeks, where you go red and a little burning/tingling sensation, but that goes after about 30 minutes, unless like me your cooking and using cucurmin spice then decide to unknowingly rub it over your face and arms then suffer your first flush in front of a friend your cooking lunch for, that is one flushing experience I am NEVER going to forget but apart from that I’m on the drugs and I’m on the fight back.


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